#you're not OCD because you like things organized

[musical-chick-13]

Maybe I’ve just been Thinking Too Much About the Concept of Justice due to...currently watching....something (Idon’twannatalkaboutit)..........but GENUINELY the way most of y’all talk about the death penalty and about ANYONE who decides to go through law school for ANY reason is terrifying.

[frvnkcastles]

hi, sorry if I wrote something wrong, this is the first time I make a request... well, I've been dealing with OCD since 2020 (not with organization, but with having to touch something repeatedly or turning the light on and off among other things, and if I don't do something bad happens) and I saw that you're accepting ideas, so here's mine if you want :) Frank Castle x Reader who has had OCD for years but it has gotten worse and she has a panic attack because she doesn't want to deal with it anymore but she just can't stop

I’LL KEEP YOU LIKE AN OATH ➵ F. CASTLE

Summary: Stuck in a compulsion, you need Frank’s help and support more than ever.

Warnings: Reader has OCD, panic attack, hurt/comfort, feminine nicknames

Word count: 1.4k

Author’s note: I’ve actually been assessed for OCD because I display some traits but I’m fortunate to say they’re not that severe, so I can’t say I fully know the experience I was writing about here. But I hope it meets your expectations, anon! You’re so strong and I hope you’re doing well <3 I feel like Frank would 100000% learn everything he can about his partner’s disorders and go to doctor’s appointments and make sure there’s no skipping meds. Tell me I’m wrong!! Anyway, enjoy :)

You didn’t know what happened to make your symptoms worse, what caused the turn towards a decline in your control over your compulsions but it happened, anyway. You thought you were doing so well, but slowly and surely, your steady management of your disorder crumbled and you soon found yourself in an evil loop that you didn’t quite know how to break out of.

Frank quickly picked up on it getting worse. He could read you like an open book and he was perfectly attuned to your moods and especially the anxiety that had begun to rear its head more often, so it was easy for him to figure out you were struggling. You had been together long enough for him to know exactly how your symptoms manifested and what he could do to help, but he couldn’t deny his heart broke for you after you had made so much progress in the past year.

He caught you standing by the light switch one evening, and he immediately knew what was going on. ”Hey, sweetheart. Wanna take a walk with me or somethin’? Get your mind off of it?” he asked softly, placing a hand on your arm to gently retrieve you from the switch, but you stood firmly and pried his grip off of you.

”I can’t do that. I—I just can’t”, you insisted, flicking the lights on and then back off, which earned a frown from Frank. You had told him before about the immense fear of something bad happening if you didn’t follow the compulsions, and while he knew he couldn’t fix what was going on in your head, he always tried to soothe your circling thoughts.

”It’s aight, baby. I promise, nothin’s gonna happen. I know I’m just some asshole sayin’ it but I swear, it’ll be okay”, he reassured you, stepping in front of you to tear your burning stare away from the light switch and towards him. ”Remember what the doctor said, huh? Sometimes you gotta refuse to engage, yeah? C’mon, sit with me for a while, sweetheart”, he reminded you, and reluctantly, you had to admit he was right. You had agreed to give exposure therapy a go, and when you didn’t feel strong enough on your own, Frank had promised to be right by your side to help you sit with the anxiety.

Frank extended his hand to you, and with a sigh, you took it. ”Attagirl”, he commended you before leading you to the living room couch. You fidgeted but sat down, regardless, and he hauled you into his arms, creating a pile of cuddles on the cushions. Throughout the time you had been together, you had discovered that he could be very affectionate — at least when the right person had come along, and usually, you enjoyed it deeply. But right now, you couldn’t help but ruminate on the damn light switch.

”I gotchu. Wanna tell me about your day tomorrow?” Frank tried to steer your mind toward something else, and exhaling shakily, you nodded. You really wanted to try, make an effort for him and give him a reason to be proud of you. You were certainly weary of your compulsions, so you couldn’t exactly blame Frank if he was starting to feel the same way.

”Yeah, I—I, uh… I’m seeing a friend for lunch and—”, you started, but lost track of your own sentence quickly enough. You couldn’t stop thinking about the light switch, couldn’t help but feel the imminent doom looming over you if you dared to step away from the compulsion, and it was driving you mad.

”I’m listenin’, pretty girl. Which friend we talkin’ about?” Frank tried to keep you going, so thoughtful and attentive, but it wasn’t working. You knew he was really trying for you — he had attended every doctor’s appointment as per your wish and he had made sure to ask what he could do to help, how he could take off some of the burden you were carrying by yourself. And he routinely checked in with you to ensure he hadn’t crossed any boundaries and that his gentle pushing was still helping, and most days, you were happy to report that he was your saving grace.

But right now, it just wasn’t enough.

”I’m sorry, I can’t do this”, you stammered, rushing to climb out of Frank’s arms. You hurried to the light switch and began flicking it on and off, the urge to do it a specific amount of times overcoming your senses. You stood by it like a moth drawn to a flame, and Frank felt a horrible pit in his stomach for being unable to ease your mind.

He followed you from the living room, just in time to catch sight of you bringing your hands to your forehead in despair. You promptly burst into tears, feeling sickened and nervous and out of control, and as you shakily dropped your hands to cover your face, Frank rushed to your side. He placed his palm flat on your back and he crouched over to your level as you doubled over and your breathing grew shallow and panicked.

”Hey, hey, hey. It’s okay, sweetheart”, he tried, his gruff voice full of worry as he watched you sink deeper into the panic attack.

”I just want it to stop”, you sobbed, feeling so hopeless and defeated. You didn’t want to get stuck in these loops anymore, but you were incapable of stopping, and it was sending you into a downward spiral right there and then.

But Frank was determined to save you from it. ”I know, baby, I know. It’s real shitty. I wish I could make it stop, y’know I would in a heartbeat”, he spoke with sincere sympathy. ”Breathe f’me, yeah? Look at me. Focus on just me, nothin’ else”, he instructed, soft but demanding enough to be a guiding light, and trying your best, you followed his example of breathing in and out steadily.

Your head was still spinning and your chest felt constricted, but you managed to slow down your breathing. Feeling completely overwhelmed, you slumped down to the floor and sat down against the wall with ragged breaths and trembling hands. Frank followed you down, squatting in front of you to remain in your eyeline, and his hand rested on your propped-up knee.

”There you go, keep goin’”, he encouraged you in a way that helped you calm down. He kept you grounded and as minutes ticked by, you were able to pull yourself back from the void of the sheer panic. You dropped your head between your arms, and observing you with the burning desire to do more to help, Frank sighed.

”I know this fuckin’ sucks, baby. You don’t deserve any of it”, he spoke up, sitting down fully. ”But you know I’m always here, aight? I ain’t givin’ up or lettin’ you do it, either. We’ll get you therapy or meds or whatever it is you wanna do”, he went on, and feeling embarrassed for spinning out of control the way you had, you looked up at him.

”I’m sorry. I wish I wasn’t this way”, you lamented, and in response, Frank just shook his head, refusing to let you go down that path of self-hatred.

”It’s not who you are, ya hear me? They’re your symptoms. It’s a disorder. It’s got nothin’ to do with the kind of person you are, which, by the way, I fuckin’ adore and love no matter what. You’re my girl, and I’m here for you even when you think you’re at your worst”, he claimed with a serious tone. It wasn’t something he was going to argue about — to him, you were perfect. You just happened to struggle sometimes, but that didn’t make you any less beautiful or amazing to him. In fact, it just convinced him that you were so, so strong.

Smiling weakly, you took his hand. ”Thank you, Frankie. I love you, too”, you whispered in gratitude. The compulsion hadn’t left your mind yet, and you suspected it was going to stick with you for a while, but you felt a little better knowing Frank wasn’t going anywhere nor was he going to judge you.

”C’mere, girl”, he gestured for you to crawl into his arms, and you happily obliged. You did exactly that, shuffling on the floor until you were sitting between his legs and your head rested against his chest, the warmth of his firm body bringing you immense comfort.

For the night, Frank was focused on helping you alleviate the anxiety, but the next day, he was driven to find you some help. When it came to your well-being, he did not procrastinate, and so, he was determined to do whatever he could, just for you.

[absolutebl]

hiii i wanted to eay something

so to me you're like. the main. top? authority? main guy? how do i say this. youre all over bl tumblr, and your posts especially the ones you recommend/talk abt different bls are so like. fully comprehensive. and each of them has 482729 links to other posts, that it really gives the impression that youre some kind of. bizarrely organized level headed and all-knowing bl entity

im aware this sounds strange but i promise i mean this in the best way possible this is a Compliment i am just bad at those

like ok. whenever i hear abt a new bl or want to understand smth related to bls in general i know ill find the best explanation on your blog. and i do, but in the process of reading whichever post i found, ill spend the next hour following a trail of hyper links and hopping from post to post cartoon detective style until i remember what i was originally here for

its so interesting the way u explain things and u always manage to bring up the stuff i would have wanted mentioned

however i continue to be astounded by the amount of bls you have watched god damn

also your other posts are funny u give nice commentary and in tags of reblogs n such

ok essay over have a good day :)))

Hi!

Thank you! Glad you find me both helpful and distracting.

It's a personality thing. I love a spreadsheet and I'm a completest and v organized. It means when I delve into a fandom I have to know everything about it, or as much as possible, and then I need to categorize everything I've learned.

Having answers makes me feel in control and safe. Have a schedule of things to watch gives me something to look forward to each day.

The warren thing is just because I come from old school blogging and SEO training. Always lead them down a rabbit hole.... before we had endless scrolling and algorithms that it was how you lowered a bounce rate.

Now I can't stop. Must provide links to more information!

Before you ask, yes my home is very tidy. Partly because I travel all the time and have very little stuff, but also because I am just that kind of person. You know, even the drawers in the kitchen, and the boxes under the bed, and the medicine cabinet, are subdivided and labeled and color coordinate and neat.

Also before you ask, no, I don't have OCD, I'm just a neat freak.

Except spelling......

[jpegjade]

spencer blurb - reader OCD

this turned out to be actually cathartic. (my therapist suggested i write about it in this format so here i go...) and yes, my therapist knows i write spencer fanfics and supports it as an outward creative release. inspired by my most recent breakdown.

spencer was the first to tell you had ocd, even though you didn't say anything to anyone but Hotch.

the organization, sure, but it was more than that. it was the counting. it was the steps. it was the particular way you had to have a number of sugars, time in increments, washing your hands for a specific amount of time or it wouldn't be right. you would have to do it over again. you had to eat counter clockwise every time. it had to be right. it had to be in the right order. it was hell wherever you went. every day. it wasn't fair.

"good?" spencer said, waiting outside the bathroom door for you. not in a creepy way, he promised every time. he just didn't want you to feel alone. he knew what that felt like. the intrusive thoughts. the fear about the consequences. he knew what happened when he shook hands with someone. the germs were one thing. it was different when he touched the wrong thing and all of his thoughts became obsessive. wave. who cares if they think he's weird. he can't do it. something bad happens when he does it.

"thanks." you said, getting a small smile from spencer as the two of you fell into step. every time. one. two. three. always a three. never more. pause. spencer always paused with you. he never walked faster, never lagging or speeding past you. never huffed. never complained. short distance because you were shorter but his steps shifted. you weren't sure why but he was there in step with you.

"do you want lunch?" spencer asked, his desk across from yours. you were tapping your pen, click click click. you couldn't stop until you it 27. 3 more to go and then you could answer him. you couldn't stop or something bad would happen.

spencer waited. he always waited. never rushed, wouldn't mind repeating himself on the rare occasion that you would not hear him because the thoughts made you focus on the problem. it was fine for him to wait. he didn't mind if it meant you were able to keep the thoughts at bay, even for a moment. something bad won't happen if you could just get to 27. no more. no less. no interruptions or you have to start over.

"you don't have to get me food." you said, finally hitting your number. one more thought down. you looked at him, his kind eyes looking at you when you eventually met his gaze. he was the only one who could watch and count.

"i know. but you need lunch. you need a snack. you need something to eat." he said, tapping his foot. you started counting. 3. 6. 9. 27. freeze. it was like he knew what you were thinking.

"Okay." You said, getting up to walk with him. The intrusive thoughts were coming back but you had to control them. you had to write it down in your phone, like your therapist said. you had to stop thinking spencer will die if you step on the same crack in the sidewalk outside of the office.

he stepped over it with you. he knew. he just new and didn't make fun of you or think you're weird. he just... let you be you and took it one moment at a time. you counted your steps, watching spencer fall in line with you. he didn't ask. he never asked. he just knew.

[kyouka-supremacy]

What are the things you like or appreciate about shin soukoku? /gen

(˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶)

I like sskk! I like everything about them. I feel like there's just so much to unpack about them, and there's no end to it!! After all this time I'm still finding out new possible dynamics and ways to interpret their relationship, it's so much fun. They're both very very complex characters, and their dynamics together are pretty awesome? There's the whole deal– I hate myself, so I have to hate you, because you're just like me. It's sooo cool. It's nice to see characters who hate themselves so much, but who also try to do better (Atsushi), try to be better (Akutagawa). They're both so so complex individually, and I simply adore what becomes of them when they come together. I think that when they're together, their individual characterization shines the brightest, because they're souls precisely created as parts of the same whole. And I've written about this forever ago, but I really like how their journey goes from hating each other to loving each other to loving themselves, I think it's a very nice concept to explore.

It's just a... Low-pressure ship in a lot of ways? It's something very very comforting to think about for me. As a ship, it constantly feels like saying “yeah, you do kind of suck. That doesn't mean you can't be loved.” It's just such a sweet sentiment for me!! It's not saying one shouldn't try to be better, but sometimes you do feel like you're utterly bad and unlovable, and there's no helping it; and sskk is there telling you “look. Here's two of the worst people on earth. One of them is unlovable by definition. And they still have in them to love, and to be loved.'” It's just :')

I genuinely love how both of them are kind of awful people. I mean, there's probably not a single thing about their moral code I agree with. But for some reason that makes them very compelling to explore? It's interesting to engage with characters that share worldviews so strikingly different from mine. Them having such fucked up ideals, so many flaws and selfish goals, makes them feel terribly human, and also makes them very sympathetic, in a way. They're a true mess, but one that reminds me so much of how sloppy and incoherent humans are like. Them being so distant from me greatly adds to their appeal tbh! Generally, I have a very strong moral code, and I try to do the right thing, while they're terribly selfish and self-survival driven. I'm mostly perceived as a woman, and they are two men with superpowers who fight and die for each other. I like reading about characters I can't see anything of myself in! I already have enough of myself irl lol.

Now that I think about it, I really really love how they don't mince words. Again, it's something personal, but I heavily dislike the habit of using euphemisms to sugarcoat reality. Sometimes things are unpleasant and ugly, and trying to deny it feels insulting more often than not. Sskk are always very direct, and never hesitated to tell what they think to the other's face, even if it comes at the cost of throwing insults; weirdly enough, it's something I appreciate. I think deep down, they appreciate it too.

The perspective of having someone who makes your true nature emerge is nice. Again, instead of mincing words and faking it, it's nice to imagine there's someone who could see them for who they really are, and loves them still. It's compelling to explore the true terror anyone would feel from being completely naked in front of someone else, but at the same time the sort of relief that comes with it? “This is the part of me I've always beaten up and suppressed and hidden. Look! Isn't that deeply disgusting? Yet that is nothing but the real me.”

The whole complementary-in-everything thing hits that specific part of my ocd brain that has me do stuff like organize my posts in a coherent string so that every post is connected to the previous, have every post posted at a round number timespan, count the pixels in every single picture I trim etc. Atsushi is mostly white in his design and Akutagawa is mostly black but the colors are reversed when they use their abilities combined. Atsushi is good and Akutagawa is evil. Tiger & dragon & cat & dog. Blue and red. government-affiliated job and mafia. Healthy and regenerating vs. sick and decaying. Loved & hated. Attractive and hideous. One loves reading and the other finds it unnerving, one knows how to cook and the other is a cooking disaster, one likes coffee and the other likes tea, early bird and night owl, so on and so forth. Then, the fact that when they come together they end up looking so deeply similar is kind of neat, it's like there's some sort of Hegelian synthesis in their love.

Their canon moments are truly great and exciting. I care relatively little about the amount of moments a ship has in canon– an interesting dynamic is an interesting dynamic no matter their screentime, right? And you're free to imagine what the characters interacting would be like in your head any time. And while I still like to believe their relationship would still be very compelling even without the moments they share, wow. Their canon screentime is crazy, it's outstanding. I think the depiction of their dynamics in canon is exceptionally good, and extremely well-written. The “the words of your past are fundamentally unrelated to who you are now”, the Atsushi wearing Rashomon, the “you damn fool // hurry up and go”, the “just the two of us?”– they're all such epic and sublime moments, every time they leave the reader gaping and bewildered and, frankly, wondering if that really happened. And their scenes are so consistently homoerotically charged!! From the “it's been reserved solely for you today” to the “the man-tiger's my main dish” to the “their eyes met. Akutagawa's lips moved, mouthing the words I found you” to the “once this is done, I'm going to teach you things other than ‘killing’ ” to the “as long as I can't deny your very being, I'll never be able to move forward” to the “don't touch me! Disgusting!” to the “I'm sorry”. From Akutagawa piercing Atsushi with Rashomon to kicking him to getting unnecessarily close to his face. From every second they've spent admiring each other to the way they call out each other's names with so much passion. The list goes on forever. And chapters 84-88 are short to a masterpiece. The characters' growth is madly well-executed, how we see them go through it almost step-by-step, and it's all so consistent, and it's all so human.

Finally, the picture that made me go “Ah! There's something about them!” for the first time. It's very dear to me :)

It's got Atsushi being cute and Akutagawa looking at him with a fairly undecipherable expression that yet is distinctively non-hostile, and this precise illustration made my brain go “Wow, what if Akutagawa actually had a soft spot for Atsushi. What if there was tenderness in his eyes.” Then it all went downhill from there ahah

[kuruk]

god if you're listening olease give us a strong sedative that you can take long term with no problems or withdrawal or tolerance going up so easily. I shouldn't have wasted any xanax at all on being able to handle edibles again when I always need it randomly at night after taking nothing at all just because I focused on the feeling of my organs in my body too much or got too scared of the dark. and now I'm all out and kind of screwed. -_- actually so embarrassing to need to take a benzo because you suddenly felt terrified of the dark as an adult but I genuinely can't stand it anymore after I had a thing in 2022 where I kept hearing the front door beeping as if someone was trying to enter in the code and knocking on the window and crowded voices and moaning in the ceiling which maybe was my fault for trying to get answers about my future from god through signs in mundane things like whether the fan turns on when I switch on the light or what number the microwave is on when I get to it or how many cars drive by before I make it back inside the house. which I've always done because of ocd but not so obsessively but the sudden depression I had amplified the meaning of it because I wanted answers so bad. T_T I never saw anything more complex than simple distortions in the dark but my mom recently told me she was hospitalized for postpartum psychosis when she was 23 and saw full demons whuch is literally what I'm afraid of seeing if I let myself look anywhere in the dark. when I was a kid I was confused on why people thought ghosts were scary if they wouldn't even be able to affect the material world but well it really is the worst to think something might just be there even if it didn't have bad intentions like I don't know that's just terrifying... when I rarely hear the quiet mumbling in the ceiling I want to listen but I always beg it not to let me see anything even though I don't feel like it's evil I just don't want to see. it's not even funny because this level of anxiety is genuinely bad physically and what I'm worried about health wise is just more likely waauh

[basilbunni]

what are your relationship hcs for ninajack?

chat this deleted my work so this is way more delayed than played

but thank you for asking

more under cut im a yapper abt them </3

so as kind of a foundation i think nina and jack have a super opposites attract relationship and i kind of touched on that in my phys hc post (check that out if you enjoy this content bee tee dubs)

for example, nina is super duper messy while jack is obsessively organized and clean from being an ocd doctor man

they really level each other out in an almost healing way and that's part of why i love this ship sm lmao

nina keeps jack from trying to be painfully perfect and he keeps her from being dangerously reckless and laidback

they also fit under a princess and knight in shining armor type thing for me personally— and yes, i will explain LOL

nina, after being in a super neglectful and abusive relationship with jeff, gets to be with jack who's more attentive and caring towards nina, making her feel more like herself and leads her to being more in tune with princess treatment

jack also has relationship trauma, which i think anyone could guess if you've even just heard about the background story that the person who made sally's story made and not just seen the low quality mask photo story

(for those who DONT know that story and dont want spoilers for it i do suggest leaving the post now and reading it because it is a pretty common reference for the creepypasta fandom and i will be referencing big plot points)

so having the sacrificial college girlfriend (whos name i would look up but im currently on a roadtrip with shitty service) jack isn't used to getting anything back in return and/or being treated nicely without something sinister being behind it

but nina loves super unconditionally— which immediately contradicts that train of thought which would ultimately lead him to trusting her more and more over time til they're just at a point where they can both love each other without fear of the other person being similar to their past experiences and that's just so heartwarming urgrgrhh

the knight part really comes into play with nina being a bit clumsy and reckless because jack is constantly having to basically baby proof her experiences because she is so prone to creating problems

moving on— jack finds little acts of service that nina isnt really used to to show his love

like he'll make her a meal or get her jewelry or whatever just to make her day because its not something she got with jeff at all

which its more like it makes her month because she will not stop talking about it to anybody who will listen

that's just how she is— she loves very loudly

which is COMPLETELY NEW to jack considering that the sacrificial college girlfriend (i still havent googled her name my signal is somehow worse) was truly just there to lead a lamb to the slaughter

so when nina is actively seeking his affection and caring and loving for him it is such a new experience that i would think he wasn't quite sure what to do

guys hes a nerdy medical major white guy first and a demon second in my books he is an awkward man

but there's a want to be perfect for nina so he really fakes it til he makes it

but then nina is also a super-people-reader so when things dont line up she's immediately on his case

"hey man i thought you barely had any experience why are you good at kissing are you lying to me"

and then he gets a little embarrassed by it and hes like "i have no idea what you're talking about i'm just paying attention to your reactions"

she still doesnt believe him fully but she accepts it

they do cute shit together too

like they'll watch movies and tv and stuff together and cuddle

or nina will dress him up and buy him clothes (because like i said in the past post, jack is very copy and paste easy outfits and nina is obsessive with accessories and big outfits yada yada yada)

he'd probably let nina do just about anything tho as long as shes having fun and close to him hes pretty content

god i feel like i still have more lmk if you want more urgrgrhnmmhmf

[velvetvexations]

So my actual opinion on sex/asab is that it should also go out the window. The excuse people use for keeping it is medical reasons, but we would be getting better medical care if our doctors had notes about any weird genetic features we have, a panel on our typical hormone levels, and a list of the organs we were born with and which we may have had surgically removed. The one letter doesn’t communicate enough medically, in my opinion.

BUT! I realize that this will be difficult to switch to. What if as a stepping stone to that, we expanded the sex binary to a quinternary: female with hyper-feminine hormone levels, female with average hormone levels, intersex, male with average hormone levels, male with hyper-masculine hormone levels. Or even 7 categories (another two levels between average female, intersex, and average male, whether people preferred female and male with low “correct”/high “incorrect” sex hormones or intersex with hard leans toward either side is probably up to the people falling in those categories).

I don’t know. I’m autistic+OCD and have a massive interest in categorizing things and the sex binary sucks on so many levels and we need to come up with alternatives to pitch to the various medical boards and I am brimming with ideas and feel like I have no outlet.

I hope you are having a good day! (Narcissism food: I am so jealous of the amount of asks you get, I want to be tumblr popular, then my chronically-online-because-I’m-disabled would be good for something)

That's still using "male" and "female" though, and that's just way too overly complicated anyway. The whole point of the sex binary tbh is that it's neat and simple. M or F. If you're M things are like this and if you're F things are like that. We need to get rid of it, but replacing it with a whole grid of categorizations even temporarily is both going forward with what makes it bad and missing the point of what limited usefulness it ever provided.

[yandere-paramour]

Thank you so much for your posts, I adore them so much. ❤️❤️❤️

I can safely assure you that your blog is the best among yandere. You describe everything so well and your blog has such a good design based on posts. I often get confused in other writers' posts, looking for information about their characters. But you've organized your blog well, and I've never been confused in it.

I also had a question, how would Atalanta react and what would she do if her darling was a prostitute?

Haha that last part really caught me off guard. You're so sweet! I really put a lot into this blog and I'm so glad you all can tell and that you love it so much. I keep my blog very obsessively organized because I have OCD haha. Please leave comments if you like the post! I look at/respond to all of them!

If Ata's Darling was a sex worker, Ata wouldn't like it. Most people work that out of desperation so the first thing she would he concerned about would be your safety. She would kidnap you immediately, probably putting you in a private hospital to ensure your health first, just in case you've picked up a disease or something. She would also have Zachariah scrub your sex-worker identity from everything he could find. She'll build you a new story with her under your real name. Anyone who knows you well from those days and who won't shut up (belligerent former clients) will be eliminated. Your fellow friends will get bought out of the industry too, if they want.

[existsdeath]

Things nobody will tell you about ocd + a mini guide for those who recently got a diagnosis

-𝓢incerly , someone who is disabled due to it .

1. It's gonna be really fucking hard,and that's okay. it's okay to cry after your diagnosis. I'd be more worried if you didn't cry than if you did. Unfortunately for me,I didn't get the opportunity to fully process the depth of my diagnosis at 12,and I personally believe I deserved significantly more than what I got.

2. ocd has NOTHING to do with being clean,organized,or hygienic. ocd is based off of an obsession and then a compulsion,hense the name obsessive compulsive disorder. The reason this stereotype is so often enforced is because contamination ocd is one of the most common forms of ocd,which can come across as just "being clean" rather than a symptom of a deeply complex disorder

3. What are obsessions and compulsions? what's the difference between a neurotypical obsession and a disordered one?

obsessions in ocd are a type of intrusive thought that makes you feel the need to engage in a compulsion in order to relieve this feeling. Neurotypical peoples obsessions do not require compulsions to be done,and are usually not intrusive.

4. ocd is not just obsessions and compulsions, here are some symptoms directly linked to ocd that I personally struggle with :

intrusive thoughts unrelated to compulsions

delusions

panic attacks

paranoia

fatigue

hyperfixations

emotional contamination

hoarding

5. if you're not ready to take medication,DO NOT. My doctor didn't explain the side effects of the meds I would be taking, so I took them without even thinking. This ended in severe fatigue,depression,and an entire year of school missed, which I'm still trying to catch up with. If your psychiatrist encourages you to take medication,ask about the side effects,and make sure they know what they're doing.

6. Adding on to the last point, please get a psychiatrist if you can,and only accept medication from your doctor if it's your only choice. Don't go based off what people say about medication online too much,since it's vastly different for everyone. For me,sertraline was horrible,and for others,it saved their life.

7. ocd is a neurodivergence. it will deeply affect your life in the beginning,and that's okay,you'll get through it. I know it's hard,but I promise it'll get better.

8. ocd does NOT go away. ocd changes the way your brain thinks,you physically cannot recover from it in the same way you can't "recover" from things like autism or adhd. This doesn't mean you'll suffer forever,it just means you'll always have symptoms. Some of these symptoms aren't bad either,maybe by the time your 30 the only evidence of your ocd is mild hoarding & hyperfixations.

9. people without ocd do not understand ocd,especially if they're neurotypical.this goes for most people, excluding psychiatrists & and doctors, to some extent. Yes they will understand it,but they won't ever feel the pain you feel. I guess this goes with most disorders,but I always expected someone to understand my disorder,and they never did,so I think it's good you get that warning.

10. There is so much stigma,stereotypes,and lack of research on ocd. This adds to the last part about how people without ocd truly will not feel the pain you feel, and some will not even understand it.

coping !

so,you just heard all this yapping about ocd,you're probably wondering how to cope,other than getting professional help,these are some things that really helped me.

1. Getting the right therapist , doctor & psychiatrist. Pretty self-explanatory,get someone who truly takes you seriously;someone you have faith in.

2. Medication. Medication is such a huge part of coping,at least for me. I know I'd be dead without it,it truly is an amazing thing.

3. Find support groups. Find other people with ocd,usually through support groups! If you're nervous about talking irl there's tons of online ocd communities you can join on Twitter,discord,reddit,and I'm sure more.

4. Go out of your way to find representation of your disorder. This can mean finding artists with the disorder,or really just anyone you look up to. I find it very inspiring to see how much someone with the same disorder as me accomplished,while also being able to relate to their media. Some of my favorite artists who discuss ocd are Alec Benjamin and NF. You can even find certain games that talk about ocd,personally I find milk inside a bag of milk is perfect. it's difficult to explain the plot since it's very much up to interpretation,but it's the only thing that's made me feel so represented.

there's also a sequel , milk outside a bag of milk which is really beautiful , although deals with some pretty heavy topics. ( can you tell I'm hyperfixated on this game ? / s )

5. Deal with your compulsions constantly. I know it's hard,I know you're tired,but something my therapist told me that always stuck with me is that "whether or not you do your compulsions,you're going to be stressed ,so why not fight back against them so in the future you'll be at peace?"

6. do NOT give into your compulsions. ( easier said than done, I know ) you'll feel relief temporarily,and then you'll need to do it again,again,and again,and again...again...again...again... and again.

7. lean on people ( family & friends ),and take time for your mental health. Your mental health is so important,especially with disorders like these. If you think you need a break to focus on recovery,do that. Don't keep pushing yourself until you break,give yourself support first. For me,I haven't been in school since the beginning of the year ( not by choice ) and I actually don't know what I'd do if I had to go to school,I really don't know.

8. get accommodations when possible. This is a disorder,so as long as you have proof of your diagnosis you should be able to get accommodations. I know for me,I'm allowed to do school completely online,but obviously it'll depend on the severity of your ocd aswell as what your psychiatrist & therapist think.

9. I highly recommend involving your therapist & psychiatrist in school,it has helped me so much. Give them your principles contact info if possible,and let them discuss how they can help you together.

And as always,if you're feeling suicidal please call 988. It gets better and you're stronger than you think. I'm proud of you for going this long.

feel free to ask questions if you're curious!

[lucidfairies]

hi 🫡

. yes that is me embarrassing the shit outta myself (I actually sent that to a handful of girls)

i. for those of you who may not know, i'm maya. i'm 18, i'm typically a masculine presenting lesbian and I happen to be a she/her. I also am unfortunately asexual

• everyone meat riding rn about why I read and write so much smut as an asexual, I would love for you to know that I'm fighting a losing battle with hypersexuality! that is all I will be sharing on that matter thank you. •

ii. I'm proficient at finding people's instas whether they wanna be found or not!! if this relates to you, you may want to hmu.

iii. um I'm single if that wasn't clear from the kicker.

iv. I have severe Audhd and I have OCD but I don't really count that because you can't really tell it's there. I'm a POTS and scoliosis survivor

(can u tell idk what the hell I'm doing)

v. I will drop my socials if you so want them but I would prefer u DM me cuz I don't need my public insta in tumblr comments tbh (I have insta, tiktok, discord, snap, so on so forth)

vi. I'm still in high school LMAOOO pls I'm not less than eighteen guys don't worry but I aspire to be in the military but I'm taking a gap year

vii. I've been writing since like third grade but over quarantine my parents kinda banished me to our basement and I was doing a lot of things I shouldn't have been doing but now I'm sorta good at writing !!

viii. fics are kinda a side gig, I do write real shit here and there but there's genuinely no point so idk why I do it

ix. I'm what people like to call a whore except I don't fuck around I just talk to like nine people at once (hop off my dick rn)

x. I'm hilariously funny if you ever wanna strike up a conversation

xi. I'm down for ANY conversations. you wanna talk about what kinks some random bitch has based on their appearance? let's talk about it. wanna tell me about the sex you had last night? I'll go get a snack. I don't get triggered by really anything so if u need an outlet, I'm right here bb

xii. I actually have a massive gyatt

xiii. I can curl a lot of lbs and um I can bench some too and I guess do leg stuff (gym girlies rise)

xiv. I'm Jewish but not like Jewish my fam just is, I am probably one of the furthest things from religion and I don't hugely support organized religion (my fav way to describe it is being Jew-ish)

xv. I am a leftist through and through (pro choice, pro science, pro gays, Black lives matter, stop Asian hate, in case you needed clarification on that one) and I avoid knowingly being friends with Republicans at all costs

xvi. I am pro Palestine, nothing anyone will say or do could change my stance on that one.

xvii. I have a cat + dog

xviii. I don't get cold like ever cuz I ski in like 10° weather all winter

xix. I have Duolingo and if u wanna beef it out w a quest then I am definitely down for that because I will beat you (I'm learning Hawaiian and Hebrew)

xx. I'm fluent in German and speak it at home w the fam and I know some Spanish + French

xxi. juice boxes > anything

xxii. some more pics of me will follow whenever I stfu

xxiii. I stand at a whopping six feet tall but I swear I have short person energy

xxv. in my personal opinion I have huge dick energy but you're welcome to put me in my place (I'm a switch and I'll cook for you)

xxiv. if your snap score is more that 300k we can't be friends I'm sorry (mine is 100k suck my c o c k)

xxvi. best position is doggy but I can be persuaded into something different

xxvii. CUNT

xxviii. uhhhh I'm from the East Coast of America so l operate in EST time

anyway it was nice getting to talk about myself for a long time 🫡 feel free to make numerous comments about my life in the comments

anyway y'all here are some for faceless pics that are guaranteed to make u cream (see, hilarious)

sayonara sistas

[allora1233]

𝕊𝕨𝕠𝕠𝕟 ℙ𝕥. 𝟙

genre: fluff - headcanon

pairing: Izuku Midoriya, Shoto Todoroki, Tenya Iida

summary: Little things you do for them that make them swoon for you.

wc: >1k

a/n: For quick context, the pronouns and love languages used for these are based on my own headcanons. If you would like me to share them, just let me know! More characters are on the way!

Izuku - Buying him gifts.

Gift recieving

It doesn't have to be anything big. It could be a All Might pen you saw in the store, or some chocolates. And even though he's always happy to recieve All Might merchandise, he really cherishes the other gifts you give him more. It shows that you really do know him outside of All Might and you know what he likes. You pay attention to him and you bought him something because you were thinking of him. Some of his favorite gifts from you are: a fake plant you thought would look cute in his room (which now sits on his window sill), a new notebook since the one he had was started to get filled up, or the time you won a bunny stuffed animal at the fair with your friends and you brought it home for him. Now, if you aren't there to cuddle with him that night, he refuses to sleep if that bunny (which he named after you) isn’t on the bed somewhere so he won't be alone.

Todoroki - Cleaning their space.

Acts of Service

I don't think it's out of line to say Shoto could have developed OCD in order to maintain some sense of control over their life. This is especially true for their living space. Shoto's room is very specifically set up. From how they folds their bed sheets in the morning to how they organizes their clothes to something small, like how their pens and pencils are arranged on their desk. Everything has a place. And it's okay if things fall out of place once in a while. But when they're really going through a rough patch and they either 1) don't have time to clean up after themself, or 2) simply does not have the mental energy to, that's where you come in. You've spent plenty of time with Shoto to know how they likes their space. So when they're going through a depressive episode, you'll clean up for them while they're away. Fixing the bed, cleaning their desk, heck, you'll vacuum and wipe down all the surfaces while you're at it. You may be tired by the end of the day, but it's all worth it to see Shoto's exhausted face break into a smile when they come home.

Iida - Leaving little love notes.

Words of Affirmation

Letters, cards, post-its, anything and everything you can use to leave small messages on, you use it. You left him a note on his desk once as a random sweet gesture, and after seeing how giddy he was for the rest of the day, you had to continue making them. Now, it's a way you two communicate with one another. It can be a simple "good morning :)" note that he sticks onto your door or a long love letter that you leave on his desk for him to find that morning before class. He has a special folder dedicated to all the post-it notes and letters you've written for him. And if you send him a 3am text message of all the things you love about him, don't be surprised when you're woken up early the next morning from knocking on the door. He'll rush in and tackle you with cuddles and kisses.

[butmakeitgayblog]

ADHD here, please tell me, teach me, write instruction to how brush and floss your teeth three times a day.

Please.

Do you set alarm clocks? Do you have apps that reminds you? T_T

And no, wisdom teeth ARE NOT easy.

I gotchu

👇👇👇👇

Nope no apps or alarms. It's all less about a schedule, and more just working it into your eating routine. Making flossing and brushing part of your eating process is the easiest way rather than just relying on memory or "oop it's 1pm, gotta brush!" when you may not even eat lunch until 2, you get me?

Here's my process:

1. Brush before you eat breakfast. If you feel a bit nauseous in the mornings, try and sip some water to settle it down, but whatever you do, do not eat or drink anything other than water before your first brush. Why?

Eating softens the enamel! Acidic drinks (coffee, juice, etc) softens the enamel! If you eat/drink and then brush, you are quite literally brushing away your teefie's lil coat of armor!

2. Brush yo damn tongue. I know it sucks. I know you'll gag. It's hell. Do it anyway. I'm suffering with you ✊

3. Don't just go crazy everywhere in there. If you're zigzagging around your mouth like it's Mario kart, you're missing spots. I brush in sections to guarentee coverage. Top right molars - front, bottom, back, back edge. Bottom right molars - front, top, back, back edge. Etc. In total, six sections each brushed exactly the same.

I'm fully aware written down it sounds OCD levels of bullshit, but I promise, it's the same 2-3 minutes spent brushing as usual, just organized and effective rather than pure chaos and a prayer of plaque removal 🥴

Also, don't brush too hard. If your bristles are bent and smooshed, ease up my god you're brushing away the enamel by force 😳

4. After you brush and spit - Do. Not. Rinse.

Don't.

Put the water down.

If at most you have to refresh the tongue from feeling weirdly coated, take a tiny sip of water and gurgle only on the back of the tongue and spit.

I say this because the longer the toothpaste stays on your teeth, the better. You want that flouride and whatnot doing its thing on your enamel and gum line as long as possible, so give it as much time as you can and let your mouth naturally clean it out. It will.

5. Floss after every meal. Every one. It will become a habit and you'll start to hate the feeling of not flossing after. Floss after snacks!!! If it's solid food, floss. Period. Flossers can and will become your best friend because they are so convenient. I love them, I just keep a few in the zipper part of my wallet and whenever I'm out, I can (and do) floss on the go.

Side note, there is a right and wrong way to floss. So, be mindful of that.

6. Other than morning time, brush after meals when you can, HOWEVER!!!! WAIT AT LEAST 20 MINUTES (see part 1.) In those 20 minutes after you finish eating, drink water and thoroughly swish it around your mouth to help dilute the acid sitting on your teeth. Floss during this time as well to get the crud out from between your teeth so it's not just sitting there. If you're out in public or at a job where you can't brush after lunch, brush as soon as you get home. Literally take off your shoes, hang up your coat, kiss your pet (or spouse or... idk houseplant) hello, and then go brush.

8. After your final brushing of the day, eat or drink nothing else but water. Nothing.

Look at me

Nothing else ಠ_ಠ

If you do want to eat or drink again, gonna have to wait 20 min and brush again 🤷‍♀️

So you see, it's less about a schedule and more just working the act of brushing and flossing into your normal eating routine. Make the two synonymous. Make it part of your meal process. Eat. Floss. Rinse with water. Wait, then brush.

Important*****

For those who have days when they cannot mentally or physically make themselves brush, listen to me. I understand. It's ok. Believe me, I do know more than I ever say on here. But don't do nothing. If that is you, keep a small bottle of listerine next to your bed/chair so you can swish and spit. Buy a bag of flossers and keep those near you to at least floss. Buy those little one use brusher sticks/a clean rag and toothpaste and use those. If that's the best you can do, there's no shame in that. I promise your future self will be so, so grateful for these little things, because even a little is better than nothing. And in the end you deserve to have your mouth feel fresh, even when you yourself don't have the spoons to do much else.

[lesbianoms]

IMPORTANT/PLEASE READ (MINORS DNI)

Technically this is not my first post on this url, but for the sake of simplicity let’s say that it is. Read this if you're on mobile; go to my website layout for more organized pages and info.

(I am still currently in the process of making separate pages for my url/website layout if you do not use the app)

Hey all, Noms here!

She/her

19

Gay disaster

Vore kink

Prey (I loooove to be teased by preds who are girls/not men)

Hopelessly into older women

Big advocate of wlw vore content

I would reeeallly prefer if you had your age in your bio before following

This is my NSFT/kink sideblog. I am not giving my main because I do not want any of this stuff traced back to my main blog in any way. Serious about that.

CONTENT

As I said above, I have a vore kink. Vore is a sexual thing for me. Here you will find

Soft vore

Safe vore/Endosoma

Female preds (Absolutely no male preds. I don’t ljike them)

(Painless!!!) Digestion + Reformation

Fatal (I reeally hate the cruel and detailed emphasis on the prey suffering— especially if the prey is female— so this is essentially just digestion w/o any mention of reformation)

Miscellaneous writing (romance and angst with hurt/comfort mostly)

Also!! There will be belly stuff here. I love bellies. I want to be in one. I mean what-

Note: Not all content here will be vore-oriented. All of it will be gay though. And kind of stupid.

In the rare case I don’t post about vore or bellies, here’s what you may find:

NSFW sapphic musings

Petplay/Dom & Sub dynamics

Oviposition

Tentacles

Hypnosis <3

Stuff about actual sex

all non-vore/non-belly content can be found under the #sapphic tag!

THE OTHER THING

I have OCD! For a lot of my life I’ve felt really ashamed over certain parts of my sexuality, but lately I’ve been getting a lot better about accepting myself and certain preferences I may have.

When I was 10 or 11 I was exposed to a lot of sexual and disturbing online content (most of them involving the violation, killing, and suffering of women). And some of it kind of still sticks with me.

Vore was grouped into these, and so this has like… manifested weirdly for me as I’ve been growing up. I don’t like the death aspect but after realizing I’m into fatal, it’s like… idk man it’s weird. Some days are better than others.

Just wanted to give context in case I ever take long inactivity breaks or if my preferences shift drastically from time to time.

Here’s some more about if it you want.

ONCE AGAIN

(MINORS DNI)

(MINORS DNI)

(MINORS DNI)

This blog is NSFW!! You should only be here if you’re 18 or older. I post fluffy vore stuff from time to time but IT IS STILL 18+!!

If I reblog something from you and it makes you uncomfortable, let me know and I will fix it right away! Vore is a kink for me and I know some people don’t vibe with that completely. The last thing I want to do is make someone uncomfy.

[rodeodeparis]

some advice to other people with ocd or similar issues who may be struggling with compulsive scrolling/reposting re: the genocide in gaza that isn’t “it’s okay to avoid it self care bla bla bla”: ultimately what needs to change is outside of the bounds of social media. sharing things on socmed is important and lets people know things they may not have otherwise, but try to gauge if you’re coming at it from an angle of “i feel this will be helpful for others to know” or “i feel like i need to say something or else i’m a bad person”. if it’s the latter, it’s a compulsion, and you’re not being helpful, you’re reassurance-seeking. you can’t help anyone else if you’re operating from that standpoint.

check to see if there’s any protests, events, or encampments near you you can go to/help out with. if there aren’t, check to see if there’s people near you who you can make it happen with. check to see if where you live any institutions nearby are getting calls to divest, or if your government (local or federal) is getting calls to sanction, and join/help out with any ongoing campaigns however you can. you can donate to families trying to leave gaza or to organizations helping out there. you can boycott the products listed by the official bds website. reach out to any palestinian, arab, and jewish friends you may have (or if you're any of those yourself, check in on friends, family members, or anyone else you feel like you can talk to safely and comfortably). these are the best things you can do and none of them involve posting.

but we live in a world where we can’t really avoid posting, so maybe try to limit what you post or repost to only very specific things. for example, i figure that most of the people who follow me are gonna get their news/updates from somewhere else, so i try to focus on both donation/help/event links or news or reflections they maybe wouldn’t have seen. you can do this, but you may want to focus on something else, it’s up to you, as long as you think of it through a frame that doesn’t center who you are as a person. (what you think would be the most helpful for others to see? what you feel is the most important thing for others to know?) not because you and the things you want to post about don’t matter, but because ocd specifically targets things you care about to make you feel like a horrible person. not tying it to your personhood by setting criteria for the things you post will give you a concrete way to post without compulsion.

and just remember: you don’t have the weight of the world on your shoulders. collective action is the way forward.

[deusexmachinawitch]

Manifestation and Mental Heath

As I started the challenge I'm currently doing, it made me think about the importance of mental health when it came to manifesting.

While I personally manifested many things and managed to keep them up, I openly admit I struggle with my main manifestation which is my SP. I am diagnosed with anxiety, depression, OCD, ADD and CPTSD so sometimes it is difficult for me to not let intrusive thoughts inside my head and even sometimes spiral. Because of that, I did overconsume but for a good reason which is mostly find methods to help me deal with my mental issues when manifesting.

One of the things I've learned came from "Letters from a Stardust Soul" which is the importance of keeping a healthy vagus nerve to help you manifest. At first, I was pretty skeptic because one thing I've seen when it came to people that teach LoAss for money or offer services with a cost, is that they use all these fancy words and such to prey on people by looking kinda smart. Still, I decided to give it a try by checking videos on how to keep a healthy vagus nerve and I must say, I am very pleased with the results. I've tried both stretching for somatic trauma release and massages for vagus nerve stimulation and they do work quite.

What is the "vagus nerve" tho? The vagus nerve is responsible for the regulation of internal organ functions, such as digestion, heart rate, and respiratory rate, as well as vasomotor activity, and certain reflex actions, such as coughing, sneezing, swallowing, and vomiting.

That nerve is also associated with anxiety or other problems when it comes to mental health. The more I discovered about this, the more many things made sense, including why my gastroparesis and POTS were worse when my anxiety was skyrocketing. As soon as I began doing vagus nerve massages and somatic exercises, I could have a better mental diet because my anxiety lowered a lot. Plus my physical health also improved. Some of the vagus nerve massages use a tool and I realized I can do those massages with either the jade roller or my gua sha stone.

Here are some of my favorites:

Vagus Nerve Massage for Better Sleep (I do this one with a jade roller)

Jade Roller for Lympathic Drainage (Also stimulates areas that are good for vagus nerve stimulation)

Gua Sha for headaches (Really soothing)

All of the shorts of this channel are really good somatic exercises

You can even do affirmations or visualization while doing these! Highly recommended.

Another thing I read about stimulating the vagus nerve, is cold. That reminded me of the Wim Hof method but I don't recommend having very cold showers or baths suddenly because chronically ill people or people with blood pressure problems can go into shock. Trust me, I went there. But, I started washing my face with cold water and also putting my sheet masks in the fridge for my skin care and trust me guys, it is a game changer for me because I feel more awake and energized. Also, applying a cold cloth at the back of my neck is really good.

So, I really recommend the "Wim Hof method breathing exercises" (forever grateful to @pearlygrace for this recommendation) with a round of skin care with cold water and a cold sheet mask. It is a good combo. And if you're like me and need a hot bath even in the summer for joint and back pain, do the Wim Hof breathing exercises while at the bath tub then proceed with the skincare.

I do short affirmations along with my breathing with the Wim Hof method. For example, when breathing in and breathing out I say these for example:

SP loves me, SP wants me I don't chase, I attract I want it, I got it I am God, I am the Law

This is a way to affirm and do the law while relaxing to the Wim Hof method. You might feel light and tingly afterwards, so if you're doing it while in the bathtub, be careful. I also do this before bed to help me with SATS or if I had a very bad day and I need to calm my anxiety before revising or writing in my wish book (scripting).

Also, there was a post in "He's already yours" that mentioned something when it comes to mental diet and living in the end. When you're anxious and always try to be in control, it's not easy to let go of your desire, especially people with ADD/ADHD tend to accidentally end up waiting and desiring instead of actually living like it is already done. Trust, I've been there and I still fall into my own trap sometimes.

But one of the posts from this insta gave me a nice tip which is making a list of 11 things that are non-negotiables in your day by day. Basically, 11 things you have to do every day for YOUR OWN satisfaction and well-being, things that you enjoy and love because above all you have to love yourself since self-concept is what is the most important in this journey.

From my personal experience, having this list also helps me with dealing with the unwanted effects of the purge/transition period and try to state in my God/Sabbath state. They can be things like skincare, watching shows, etc... You know what you like and what can calm you, so write down that list and look at it every day to remind you of what you like and that you're the most important thing in your reality so your happiness is above everything. That is the key of manifesting at least for me.

But if your anxiety is really bad, make yourself an anxiety box. I had one even before I got into law of assumption and it is a game changer in mental health. I have things like lavender scented things like massage oils and such, a head massager, emergency chocolate, instant noodles, fidget toys, etc... Anything that can help to ease a very big anxiety attack is welcomed, especially to soothe yourself during a spiral. Note what foods you like, what shows or books calm you... Stop for a moment, don't check your phone or anything, just think about what YOU really like and what makes YOU happy and calm. Once you stop, things will come easily.

In a cloudy sky, you cannot see the stars. -Satella's grandfather, every day damn day until his passing

Always allow yourself to feel and release, nothing bad is going to manifest from that especially if you affirm that what you feel at that moment won't affect your manifestation and doesn't define you. Your feelings don't define you, but don't give up. Release them now then continue being the God you are. You can have anything you want even if you cry to sleep one whole night, but don't forget that you're the most important thing in your reality so please take care of yourself and don't give up on your journey.

You are blessed and gifted after all.

Happy journey!

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗ Satella ˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗